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The Red Badge of Courage
By Stephen Crane
Day 4 Audio |
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CHAPTER 7
The youth cringed as if discovered in a crime. By
heavens, they had won after all! The imbecile line had remained and become
victors. He could hear cheering.
He lifted himself upon his
toes and looked in the direction of the fight. A yellow fog lay wallowing on the
treetops. From beneath it came the clatter of musketry. Hoarse cries told of an
advance.
He turned away amazed and
angry. He felt that he had been wronged.
He had fled, he told
himself, because annihilation approached. He had done a good part in saving
himself, who was a little piece of the army. He had considered the time, he
said, to be one in which it was the duty of every little piece to rescue itself
if possible. Later the officers could fit the little pieces together again, and
make a battle front. If none of the little pieces were wise enough to save
themselves from the flurry of death at such a time, why, then, where would be
the army? It was all plain that he had proceeded according to very correct and
commendable rules. His actions had been sagacious things. They had been full of
strategy. They were the work of a master's legs.
Thoughts of his comrades
came to him. The brittle blue line had withstood the blows and won. He grew
bitter over it. It seemed that the blind ignorance and stupidity of those little
pieces had betrayed him. He had been overturned and crushed by their lack of
sense in holding the position, when intelligent deliberation would have
convinced them that it was impossible. He, the enlightened man who looks afar in
the dark, had fled because of his superior perceptions and knowledge. He felt a
great anger against his comrades. He knew it could be proved that they had been
fools.
He wondered what they would
remark when later he appeared in camp. His mind heard howls of derision. Their
density would not enable them to understand his sharper point of view.
He began to pity himself
acutely. He was ill used. He was trodden beneath the feet of an iron injustice.
He had proceeded with wisdom and from the most righteous motives under heaven's
blue only to be frustrated by hateful circumstances.
A dull, animal-like
rebellion against his fellows, war in the abstract, and fate grew within him. He
shambled along with bowed head, his brain in a tumult of agony and despair. When
he looked loweringly up, quivering at each sound, his eyes had the expression of
those of a criminal who thinks his guilt little and his punishment great, and
knows that he can find no words.
He went from the fields
into a thick woods, as if resolved to bury himself. He wished to get out of
hearing of the crackling shots which were to him like voices.
The ground was cluttered
with vines and bushes, and the trees grew close and spread out like bouquets. He
was obliged to force his way with much noise. The creepers, catching against his
legs, cried out harshly as their sprays were torn from the barks of trees. The
swishing saplings tried to make known his presence to the world. He could not
conciliate the forest. As he made his way, it was always calling out
protestations. When he separated embraces of trees and vines the disturbed
foliages waved their arms and turned their face leaves toward him. He dreaded
lest these noisy motions and cries should bring men to look at him. So he went
far, seeking dark and intricate places.
After a time the sound of
musketry grew faint and the cannon boomed in the distance. The sun, suddenly
apparent, blazed among the trees. The insects were making rhythmical noises.
They seemed to be grinding their teeth in unison. A woodpecker stuck his
impudent head around the side of a tree. A bird flew on lighthearted wing.
Off was the rumble of
death. It seemed now that Nature had no ears.
This landscape gave him
assurance. A fair field holding life. It was the religion of peace. It would die
if its timid eyes were compelled to see blood. He conceived Nature to be a woman
with a deep aversion to tragedy.
He threw a pine cone at a
jovial squirrel, and he ran with chattering fear. High in a treetop he stopped,
and, poking his head cautiously from behind a branch, looked down with an air of
trepidation.
The youth felt triumphant
at this exhibition. There was the law, he said. Nature had given him a sign. The
squirrel, immediately upon recognizing danger, had taken to his legs without
ado. He did not stand stolidly baring his furry belly to the missile, and die
with an upward glance at the sympathetic heavens. On the contrary, he had fled
as fast as his legs could carry him; and he was but an ordinary squirrel,
too--doubtless no philosopher of his race. The youth wended, feeling that Nature
was of his mind. She re-enforced his argument with proofs that lived where the
sun shone.
Once he found himself
almost into a swamp. He was obliged to walk upon bog tufts and watch his feet to
keep from the oily mire. Pausing at one time to look about him he saw, out at
some black water, a small animal pounce in and emerge directly with a gleaming
fish.
The youth went again into
the deep thickets. The brushed branches made a noise that drowned the sounds of
cannon. He walked on, going from obscurity into promises of a greater obscurity.
At length he reached a
place where the high, arching boughs made a chapel. He softly pushed the green
doors aside and entered. Pine needles were a gentle brown carpet. There was a
religious half light.
Near the threshold he
stopped, horror-stricken at the sight of a thing.
He was being looked at by a
dead man who was seated with his back against a columnlike tree. The corpse was
dressed in a uniform that had once been blue, but was now faded to a melancholy
shade of green. The eyes, staring at the youth, had changed to the dull hue to
be seen on the side of a dead fish. The mouth was open. Its red had changed to
an appalling yellow. Over the gray skin of the face ran little ants. One was
trundling some sort of bundle along the upper lip.
The youth gave a shriek as
he confronted the thing. He was for moments turned to stone before it. He
remained staring into the liquid-looking eyes. The dead man and the living man
exchanged a long look. Then the youth cautiously put one hand behind him and
brought it against a tree. Leaning upon this he retreated, step by step, with
his face still toward the thing. He feared that if he turned his back the body
might spring up and stealthily pursue him.
The branches, pushing
against him, threatened to throw him over upon it. His unguided feet, too,
caught aggravatingly in brambles; and with it all he received a subtle
suggestion to touch the corpse. As he thought of his hand upon it he shuddered
profoundly.
At last he burst the bonds
which had fastened him to the spot and fled, unheeding the underbrush. He was
pursued by the sight of black ants swarming greedily upon the gray face and
venturing horribly near to the eyes.
After a time he paused,
and, breathless and panting, listened. He imagined some strange voice would come
from the dead throat and squawk after him in horrible menaces.
The trees about the portal
of the chapel moved soughingly in a soft wind. A sad silence was upon the little
guarding edifice.
CHAPTER 8
The trees began softly to sing a hymn of twilight.
The sun sank until slanted bronze rays struck the forest. There was a lull in
the noises of insects as if they had bowed their beaks and were making a
devotional pause. There was silence save for the chanted chorus of the trees.
Then, upon this stillness,
there suddenly broke a tremendous clangor of sounds. A crimson roar came from
the distance.
The youth stopped. He was
transfixed by this terrific medley of all noises. It was as if worlds were being
rended. There was the ripping sound of musketry and the breaking crash of the
artillery.
His mind flew in all
directions. He conceived the two armies to be at each other panther fashion. He
listened for a time. Then he began to run in the direction of the battle. He saw
that it was an ironical thing for him to be running thus toward that which he
had been at such pains to avoid. But he said, in substance, to himself that if
the earth and the moon were about to clash, many persons would doubtless plan to
get upon the roofs to witness the collision.
As he ran, he became aware
that the forest had stopped its music, as if at last becoming capable of hearing
the foregin sounds. The trees hushed and stood motionless. Everything seemed to
be listening to the crackle and clatter and earthshaking thunder. The chorus
peaked over the still earth.
It suddenly occurred to the
youth that the fight in which he had been was, after all, but perfunctory
popping. In the hearing of this present din he was doubtful if he had seen real
battle scenes. This uproar explained a celestial battle; it was tumbling hordes
a-struggle in the air.
Reflecting, he saw a sort
of a humor in the point of view of himself and his fellows during the late
encounter. They had taken themselves and the enemy very seriously and had
imagined that they were deciding the war. Individuals must have supposed that
they were cutting the letters of their names deep into everlasting tablets of
brass, or enshrining their reputations forever in the hearts of their
countrymen, while, as to fact, the affair would appear in printed reports under
a meek and immaterial title. But he saw that it was good, else, he said, in
battle every one would surely run save forlorn hopes and their ilk.
He went rapidly on. He
wished to come to the edge of the forest that he might peer out.
As he hastened, there
passed through his mind pictures of stupendous conflicts. His accumulated
thought upon such subjects was used to form scenes. The noise was as the voice
of an eloquent being, describing.
Sometimes the brambles
formed chains and tried to hold him back. Trees, confronting him, stretched out
their arms and forbade him to pass. After its previous hostility this new
resistance of the forest filled him with a fine bitterness. It seemed that
Nature could not be quite ready to kill him.
But he obstinately took
roundabout ways, and presently he was where he could see long gray walls of
vapor where lay battle lines. The voices of cannon shook him. The musketry
sounded in long irregular surges that played havoc with his ears. He stood
regardant for a moment. His eyes had an awestruck expression. He gawked in the
direction of th fight.
Presently he proceeded
again on his forward way. The battle was like the grinding of an immense and
terrible machine to him. Its complexities and powers, its grim processes,
fascinated him. He must go close and see it produce corpses.
He came to a fence and
clambered over it. On the far side, the ground was littered with clothes and
guns. A newspaper, folded up, lay in the dirt. A dead soldier was stretched with
his face hidden in his arm. Farther off there was a group of four or five
corpses keeping mournful company. A hot sun had blazed upon this spot.
In this place the youth
felt that he was an invader. This forgotten part of the battle ground was owned
by the dead men, and he hurried, in the vague apprehension that one of the
swollen forms would rise and tell him to begone.
He came finally to a road
from which he could see in the distance dark and agitated bodies of troops,
smoke-fringed. In the lane was a blood-stained crowd streaming to the rear. The
wounded men were cursing, groaning, and wailing. In the air, always, was a
mighty swell of sound that it seemed could sway the earth. With the courageous
words of the artillery and the spiteful sentences of the musketry mingled red
cheers. And from this region of noises came the steady current of the maimed.
One of the wounded men had
a shoeful of blood. He hopped like a schoolboy in a game. He was laughing
hysterically.
One was swearing that he
had been shot in the arm through the commanding general's mismanagement of the
army. One was marching with an air imitative of some sublime drum major. Upon
his features was an unholy mixture of merriment and agony. As he marched he sang
a bit of doggerel in a high and quavering voice:
"Sing a song 'a vic'try,
A pocketful 'a bullets,
Five an' twenty dead men
Baked in a--pie."
Parts of the procession limped and staggered to
this tune.
Another had the gray seal
of death already upon his face. His lips were curled in hard lines and his teeth
were clinched. His hands were bloody from where he had pressed them upon his
wound. He seemed to be awaiting the moment when he should pitch headlong. He
stalked like the specter of a soldier, his eyes burning with the power of a
stare into the unknown.
There were some who
proceeded sullenly, full of anger at their wounds, and ready to turn upon
anything as an obscure cause.
An officer was carried
along by two privates. He was peevish. "Don't joggle so, Johnson, yeh fool," he
cried. "Think m' leg is made of iron? If yeh can't carry me decent, put me down
an' let some one else do it."
He bellowed at the
tottering crowd who blocked the quick march of his bearers. "Say, make way
there, can't yeh? Make way, dickens take it all."
They sulkily parted and
went to the roadsides. As he was carried past they made pert remarks to him.
When he raged in reply and threatened them, they told him to be damned.
The shoulder of one of the
tramping bearers knocked heavily against the spectral soldier who was staring
into the unknown.
The youth joined this crowd
and marched along with it. The torn bodies expressed the awful machinery in
which the men had been entangled.
Orderlies and couriers
occasionally broke through the throng in the roadway, scattering wounded men
right and left, galloping on followed by howls. The melancholy march was
continually disturbed by the messengers, and sometimes by bustling batteries
that came swinging and thumping down upon them, the officers shouting orders to
clear the way.
There was a tattered man,
fouled with dust, blood and powder stain from hair to shoes, who trudged quietly
at the youth's side. He was listening with eagerness and much humility to the
lurid descriptions of a bearded sergeant. His lean features wore an expression
of awe and admiration. He was like a listener in a country store to wondrous
tales told among the sugar barrels. He eyed the story-teller with unspeakable
wonder. His mouth was agape in yokel fashion.
The sergeant, taking note
of this, gave pause to his elaborate history while he administered a sardonic
comment. "Be keerful, honey, you 'll be a-ketchin' flies," he said.
The tattered man shrank
back abashed.
After a time he began to
sidle near to the youth, and in a diffident way try to make him a friend. His
voice was gentle as a girl's voice and his eyes were pleading. The youth saw
with surprise that the soldier had two wounds, one in the head, bound with a
blood-soaked rag, and the other in the arm, making that member dangle like a
broken bough.
After they had walked
together for some time the tattered man mustered sufficient courage to speak.
"Was pretty good fight, wa'n't it?" he timidly said. The youth, deep in thought,
glanced up at the bloody and grim figure with its lamblike eyes. "What?"
"Was pretty good fight,
wa'n't it?"
"Yes," said the youth
shortly. He quickened his pace.
But the other hobbled
industriously after him. There was an air of apology in his manner, but he
evidently thought that he needed only to talk for a time, and the youth would
perceive that he was a good fellow.
"Was pretty good fight,
wa'n't it?" he began in a small voice, and the he achieved the fortitude to
continue. "Dern me if I ever see fellers fight so. Laws, how they did fight! I
knowed th' boys 'd like it when they onct got square at it. Th' boys ain't had
no fair chanct up t' now, but this time they showed what they was. I knowed it
'd turn out this way. Yeh can't lick them boys. No, sir! They 're fighters, they
be."
He breathed a deep breath
of humble admiration. He had looked at the youth for encouragement several
times. He received none, but gradually he seemed to get absorbed in his subject.
"I was talkin' 'cross
pickets with a boy from Georgie, onct, an' that boy, he ses, 'Your fellers 'll
all run like hell when they onct hearn a gun,' he ses. 'Mebbe they will,' I ses,
'but I don't b'lieve none of it,' I ses; 'an' b'jiminey,' I ses back t' 'um,
'mebbe your fellers 'll all run like hell when they onct hearn a gun,' I ses. He
larfed. Well, they didn't run t' day, did they, hey? No, sir! They fit, an' fit,
an' fit."
His homely face was
suffused with a light of love for the army which was to him all things beautiful
and powerful.
After a time he turned to
the youth. "Where yeh hit, ol' boy?" he asked in a brotherly tone.
The youth felt instant
panic at this question, although at first its full import was not borne in upon
him.
"What?" he asked.
"Where yeh hit?" repeated
the tattered man.
"Why," began the youth,
"I--I--that is--why--I--"
He turned away suddenly and
slid through the crowd. His brow was heavily flushed, and his fingers were
picking nervously at one of his buttons. He bent his head and fastened his eyes
studiously upon the button as if it were a little problem.
The tattered man looked
after him in astonishment.
CHAPTER 9
The youth fell back in the procession until the
tattered soldier was not in sight. Then he started to walk on with the others.
But he was amid wounds. The
mob of men was bleeding. Because of the tattered soldier's question he now felt
that his shame could be viewed. He was continually casting sidelong glances to
see if the men were contemplating the letters of guilt he felt burned into his
brow.
At times he regarded the
wounded soldiers in an envious way. He conceived persons with torn bodies to be
peculiarly happy. He wished that he, too, had a wound, a red badge of courage.
The spectral soldier was at
his side like a stalking reproach. The man's eyes were still fixed in a stare
into the unknown. His gray, appalling face had attracted attention in the crowd,
and men, slowing to his dreary pace, were walking with him. They were discussing
his plight, questioning him and giving him advice. In a dogged way he repelled
them, signing to them to go on and leave him alone. The shadows of his face were
deepening and his tight lips seemed holding in check the moan of great despair.
There could be seen a certain stiffness in the movements of his body, as if he
were taking infinite care not to arouse the passion of his wounds. As he went
on, he seemed always looking for a place, like one who goes to choose a grave.
Something in the gesture of
the man as he waved the bloody and pitying soldiers away made the youth start as
if bitten. He yelled in horror. Tottering forward he laid a quivering hand upon
the man's arm. As the latter slowly turned his waxlike features toward him the
youth screamed:
"Gawd! Jim Conklin!"
The tall soldier made a
little commonplace smile. "Hello, Henry," he said.
The youth swayed on his
legs and glared strangely. He stuttered and stammered. "Oh, Jim--oh, Jim--oh,
Jim--"
The tall soldier held out
his gory hand. There was a curious red and black combination of new blood and
old blood upon it. "Where yeh been, Henry?" he asked. He continued in a
monotonous voice, "I thought mebbe yeh got keeled over. There 's been thunder t'
pay t'-day. I was worryin' about it a good deal."
The youth still lamented.
"Oh, Jim--oh, Jim--oh, Jim--"
"Yeh know," said the tall
soldier, "I was out there." He made a careful gesture. "An', Lord, what a
circus! An', b'jiminey, I got shot--I got shot. Yes, b'jiminey, I got shot." He
reiterated this fact in a bewildered way, as if he did not know how it came
about.
The youth put forth anxious
arms to assist him, but the tall soldier went firmly as if propelled. Since the
youth's arrival as a guardian for his friend, the other wounded men had ceased
to display much interest. They occupied themselves again in dragging their own
tragedies toward the rear.
Suddenly, as the two
friends marched on, the tall soldier seemed to be overcome by a tremor. His face
turned to a semblance of gray paste. He clutched the youth's arm and looked all
about him, as if dreading to be overheard. Then he began to speak in a shaking
whisper:
"I tell yeh what I'm 'fraid
of, Henry--I'll tell yeh what I'm 'fraid of. I 'm 'fraid I 'll fall down--an'
them yeh know - them damned artillery wagons--they like as not 'll run over me.
That 's what I 'm 'fraid of--"
The youth cried out to him
hysterically: "I 'll take care of yeh, Jim! I 'll take care of yeh! I swear t'
Gawd I will!"
"Sure--will yeh, Henry?"
the tall soldier beseeched.
"Yes--yes--I tell yeh--I'll
take care of yeh, Jim!" protested the youth. He could not speak accurately
because of the gulpings in his throat.
But the tall soldier
continued to beg in a lowly way. He now hung babelike to the youth's arm. His
eyes rolled in the wildness of his terror. "I was allus a good friend t' yeh,
wa'n't I, Henry? I 've allus been a pretty good feller, ain't I? An' it ain't
much t' ask, is it? Jest t' pull me along outer th' road? I'd do it fer you,
wouldn't I, Henry?"
He paused in piteous
anxiety to await his friend's reply.
The youth had reached an
anguish where the sobs scorched him. He strove to express his loyalty, but he
could only make fantastic gestures.
However, the tall soldier
seemed suddenly to forget all those fears. He became again the grim, stalking
specter of a soldier. He went stonily forward. The youth wished his friend to
lean upon him, but the other always shook his head and strangely protested.
"No--no--no--leave me be--leave me be--"
His look was fixed again
upon the unknown. He moved with mysterious purpose, and all of the youth's
offers he brushed aside. "No--no--leave me be--leave me be--"
The youth had to follow.
Presently the latter heard
a voice talking softly near his shoulder. Turning he saw that it belonged to the
tattered soldier. "Ye'd better take 'im outa th' road, pardner. There's a
batt'ry comin' helitywhoop down th' road an' he 'll git runned over. He 's a
goner anyhow in about five minutes--yeh kin see that. Ye 'd better take 'im outa
th' road. Where th' blazes does hi git his stren'th from?"
"Lord knows!" cried the
youth. He was shaking his hands helplessly.
He ran forward presently
and grasped the tall soldier by the arm. "Jim! Jim!" he coaxed, "come with me."
The tall soldier weakly
tried to wrench himself free. "Huh," he said vacantly. He stared at the youth
for a moment. At last he spoke as if dimly comprehending. "Oh! Inteh th' fields?
Oh!"
He started blindly through
the grass.
The youth turned once to
look at the lashing riders and jouncing guns of the battery. He was startled
from this view by a shrill outcry from the tattered man.
"Gawd! He's runnin'!"
Turning his head swiftly,
the youth saw his friend running in a staggering and stumbling way toward a
little clump of bushes. His heart seemed to wrench itself almost free from his
body at this sight. He made a noise of pain. He and the tattered man began a
pursuit. There was a singular race.
When he overtook the tall
soldier he began to plead with all the words he could find. "Jim--Jim--what are
you doing--what makes you do this way--you'll hurt yerself."
The same purpose was in the
tall soldier's face. He protested in a dulled way, keeping his eyes fastened on
the mystic place of his intentions. "No--no--don't tech me--leave me be--leave
me be--"
The youth, aghast and
filled with wonder at the tall soldier, began quaveringly to question him.
"Where yeh goin', Jim? What you thinking about? Where you going? Tell me, won't
you, Jim?"
The tall soldier faced
about as upon relentless pursuers. In his eyes there was a great appeal. "Leave
me be, can't yeh? Leave me be for a minnit."
The youth recoiled. "Why,
Jim," he said, in a dazed way, "what 's the matter with you?"
The tall soldier turned
and, lurching dangerously, went on. The youth and the tattered soldier followed,
sneaking as if whipped, feeling unable to face the stricken man if he should
again confront them. They began to have thoughts of a solemn ceremony. There was
something rite-like in these movements of the doomed soldier. And there was a
resemblance in him to a devotee of a mad religion, blood-sucking,
muscle-wrenching, bone-crushing. They were awed and afraid. They hung back lest
he have at command a dreadful weapon.
At last, they saw him stop
and stand motionless. Hastening up, they perceived that his face wore an
expression telling that he had at last found the place for which he had
struggled. His spare figure was erect; his bloody hands were quietly at his
side. He was waiting with patience for something that he had come to meet. He
was at the rendezvous. They paused and stood, expectant.
There was a silence.
Finally, the chest of the
doomed soldier began to heave with a strained motion. It increased in violence
until it was as if an animal was within and was kicking and tumbling furiously
to be free.
This spectacle of gradual
strangulation made the youth writhe, and once as his friend rolled his eyes, he
saw something in them that made him sink wailing to the ground. He raised his
voice in a last supreme call.
"Jim--Jim--Jim--"
The tall soldier opened his
lips and spoke. He made a gesture. "Leave me be--don't tech me--leave me be--"
There was another silence
while he waited.
Suddenly his form stiffened
and straightened. Then it was shaken by a prolonged ague. He stared into space.
To the two watchers there was a curious and profound dignity in the firm lines
of his awful face.
He was invaded by a
creeping strangeness that slowly enveloped him. For a moment the tremor of his
legs caused him to dance a sort of hideous hornpipe. His arms beat wildly about
his head in expression of implike enthusiasm.
His tall figure stretched
itself to its full height. There was a slight rending sound. Then it began to
swing forward, slow and straight, in the manner of a falling tree. A swift
muscular contortion made the left shoulder strike the ground first.
The body seemed to bounce a
little way from the earth. "God!" said the tattered soldier.
The youth had watched,
spellbound, this ceremony at the place of meeting. His face had been twisted
into an expression of every agony he had imagined for his friend.
He now sprang to his feet
and, going closer, gazed upon the pastelike face. The mouth was open and the
teeth showed in a laugh.
As the flap of the blue
jacket fell away from the body, he could see that the side looked as if it had
been chewed by wolves.
The youth turned, with
sudden, livid rage, toward the battlefield. He shook his fist. He seemed about
to deliver a philippic.
"Hell--"
The red sun was pasted in
the sky like a wafer.
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