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The Red Badge of Courage
By Stephen Crane
Day 1 Audio |
The
Red Badge of Courage
An Episode of the American
Civil War
CHAPTER 1
The cold passed reluctantly from the earth, and the
retiring fogs revealed an army stretched out on the hills, resting. As the
landscape changed from brown to green, the army awakened, and began to tremble
with eagerness at the noise of rumors. It cast its eyes upon the roads, which
were growing from long troughs of liquid mud to proper thoroughfares. A river,
amber-tinted in the shadow of its banks, purled at the army's feet; and at
night, when the stream had become of a sorrowful blackness, one could see across
it the red, eyelike gleam of hostile camp-fires set in the low brows of distant
hills.
Once a certain tall soldier
developed virtues and went resolutely to wash a shirt. He came flying back from
a brook waving his garment bannerlike. He was swelled with a tale he had heard
from a reliable friend, who had heard it from a truthful cavalryman, who had
heard it from his trustworthy brother, one of the orderlies at division
headquarters. He adopted the important air of a herald in red and gold.
"We're goin' t' move
t'morrah--sure," he said pompously to a group in the company street. "We're
goin' 'way up the river, cut across, an' come around in behint 'em."
To his attentive audience
he drew a loud and elaborate plan of a very brilliant campaign. When he had
finished, the blue-clothed men scattered into small arguing groups between the
rows of squat brown huts. A negro teamster who had been dancing upon a cracker
box with the hilarious encouragement of twoscore soldiers was deserted. He sat
mournfully down. Smoke drifted lazily from a multitude of quaint chimneys.
"It's a lie! that's all it
is--a thunderin' lie!" said another private loudly. His smooth face was flushed,
and his hands were thrust sulkily into his trouser's pockets. He took the matter
as an affront to him. "I don't believe the derned old army's ever going to move.
We're set. I've got ready to move eight times in the last two weeks, and we
ain't moved yet."
The tall soldier felT
called upon to defend the truth of a rumor he himself had introduced. He and the
loud one came near to fighting over it.
A corporal began to swear
before the assemblage. He had just put a costly board floor in his house, he
said. During the early spring he had refrained from adding extensively to the
comfort of his environment because he had felt that the army might start on the
march at any moment. Of late, however, he had been impressed that they were in a
sort of eternal camp.
Many of the men engaged in
a spirited debate. One outlined in a peculiarly lucid manner all the plans of
the commanding general. He was opposed by men who advocated that there were
other plans of campaign. They clamored at each other, numbers making futile bids
for the popular attention. Meanwhile, the soldier who had fetched the rumor
bustled about with much importance. He was continually assailed by questions.
"What's up, Jim?"
"Th'army's goin' t' move."
"Ah, what yeh talkin'
about? How yeh know it is?"
"Well, yeh kin b'lieve me
er not, jest as yeh like. I don't care a hang."
There was much food for
thought in the manner in which he replied. He came near to convincing them by
disdaining to produce proofs. They grew much excited over it.
There was a youthful
private who listened with eager ears to the words of the tall soldier and to the
varied comments of his comrades. After receiving a fill of discussions
concerning marches and attacks, he went to his hut and crawled through an
intricate hole that served it as a door. He wished to be alone with some new
thoughts that had lately come to him.
He lay down on a wide bunk
that stretched across the end of the room. In the other end, cracker boxes were
made to serve as furniture. They were grouped about the fireplace. A picture
from an illustrated weekly was upon the log walls, and three rifles were
paralleled on pegs. Equipments hung on handy projections, and some tin dishes
lay upon a small pile of firewood. A folded tent was serving as a roof. The
sunlight, without, beating upon it, made it glow a light yellow shade. A small
window shot an oblique square of whiter light upon the cluttered floor. The
smoke from the fire at times neglected the clay chimney and wreathed into the
room, and this flimsy chimney of clay and sticks made endless threats to set
ablaze the whole establishment.
The youth was in a little
trance of astonishment. So they were at last going to fight. On the morrow,
perhaps, there would be a battle, and he would be in it. For a time he was
obliged to labor to make himself believe. He could not accept with assurance an
omen that he was about to mingle in one of those great affairs of the earth.
He had, of course, dreamed
of battles all his life--of vague and bloody conflicts that had thrilled him
with their sweep and fire. In visions he had seen himself in many struggles. He
had imagined peoples secure in the shadow of his eagle-eyed prowess. But awake
he had regarded battles as crimson blotches on the pages of the past. He had put
them as things of the bygone with his thought-images of heavy crowns and high
castles. There was a portion of the world's history which he had regarded as the
time of wars, but it, he thought, had been long gone over the horizon and had
disappeared forever.
From his home his youthful
eyes had looked upon the war in his own country with distrust. It must be some
sort of a play affair. He had long despaired of witnessing a Greeklike struggle.
Such would be no more, he had said. Men were better, or more timid. Secular and
religious education had effaced the throat-grappling instinct, or else firm
finance held in check the passions.
He had burned several times
to enlist. Tales of great movements shook the land. They might not be distinctly
Homeric, but there seemed to be much glory in them. He had read of marches,
sieges, conflicts, and he had longed to see it all. His busy mind had drawn for
him large pictures extravagant in color, lurid with breathless deeds.
But his mother had
discouraged him. She had affected to look with some contempt upon the quality of
his war ardor and patriotism. She could calmly seat herself and with no apparent
difficulty give him many hundreds of reasons why he was of vastly more
importance on the farm than on the field of battle. She had had certain ways of
expression that told him that her statements on the subject came from a deep
conviction. Moreover, on her side, was his belief that her ethical motive in the
argument was impregnable.
At last, however, he had
made firm rebellion against this yellow light thrown upon the color of his
ambitions. The newspapers, the gossip of the village, his own picturings, had
aroused him to an uncheckable degree. They were in truth fighting finely down
there. Almost every day the newspaper printed accounts of a decisive victory.
One night, as he lay in
bed, the winds had carried to him the clangoring of the church bell as some
enthusiast jerked the rope frantically to tell the twisted news of a great
battle. This voice of the people rejoicing in the night had made him shiver in a
prolonged ecstasy of excitement. Later, he had gone down to his mother's room
and had spoken thus: "Ma, I'm going to enlist."
"Henry, don't you be a
fool," his mother had replied. She had then covered her face with the quilt.
There was an end to the matter for that night.
Nevertheless, the next
morning he had gone to a town that was near his mother's farm and had enlisted
in a company that was forming there. When he had returned home his mother was
milking the brindle cow. Four others stood waiting. "Ma, I've enlisted," he had
said to her diffidently. There was a short silence. "The Lord's will be done,
Henry," she had finally replied, and had then continued to milk the brindle cow.
When he had stood in the
doorway with his soldier's clothes on his back, and with the light of excitement
and expectancy in his eyes almost defeating the glow of regret for the home
bonds, he had seen two tears leaving their trails on his mother's scarred
cheeks.
Still, she had disappointed
him by saying nothing whatever about returning with his shield or on it. He had
privately primed himself for a beautiful scene. He had prepared certain
sentences which he thought could be used with touching effect. But her words
destroyed his plans. She had doggedly peeled potatoes and addressed him as
follows: "You watch out, Henry, an' take good care of yerself in this here
fighting business--you watch, an' take good care of yerself. Don't go a-thinkin'
you can lick the hull rebel army at the start, because yeh can't. Yer jest one
little feller amongst a hull lot of others, and yeh've got to keep quiet an' do
what they tell yeh. I know how you are, Henry.
"I've knet yeh eight pair
of socks, Henry, and I've put in all yer best shirts, because I want my boy to
be jest as warm and comf'able as anybody in the army. Whenever they get holes in
'em, I want yeh to send 'em right-away back to me, so's I kin dern 'em.
"An' allus be careful an'
choose yer comp'ny. There's lots of bad men in the army, Henry. The army makes
'em wild, and they like nothing better than the job of leading off a young
feller like you, as ain't never been away from home much and has allus had a
mother, an' a-learning 'em to drink and swear. Keep clear of them folks, Henry.
I don't want yeh to ever do anything, Henry, that yeh would be 'shamed to let me
know about. Jest think as if I was a-watchin' yeh. If yeh keep that in yer mind
allus, I guess yeh'll come out about right.
"Yeh must allus remember
yer father, too, child, an' remember he never drunk a drop of licker in his
life, and seldom swore a cross oath.
"I don't know what else to
tell yeh, Henry, excepting that yeh must never do no shirking, child, on my
account. If so be a time comes when yeh have to be kilt of do a mean thing, why,
Henry, don't think of anything 'cept what's right, because there's many a woman
has to bear up 'ginst sech things these times, and the Lord 'll take keer of us
all.
"Don't forgit about the
socks and the shirts, child; and I've put a cup of blackberry jam with yer
bundle, because I know yeh like it above all things. Good-by, Henry. Watch out,
and be a good boy."
He had, of course, been
impatient under the ordeal of this speech. It had not been quite what he
expected, and he had borne it with an air of irritation. He departed feeling
vague relief.
Still, when he had looked
back from the gate, he had seen his mother kneeling among the potato parings.
Her brown face, upraised, was stained with tears, and her spare form was
quivering. He bowed his head and went on, feeling suddenly ashamed of his
purposes.
From his home he had gone
to the seminary to bid adieu to many schoolmates. They had thronged about him
with wonder and admiration. He had felt the gulf now between them and had
swelled with calm pride. He and some of his fellows who had donned blue were
quite overwhelmed with privileges for all of one afternoon, and it had been a
very delicious thing. They had strutted.
A certain light-haired girl
had made vivacious fun at his martial spirit, but there was another and darker
girl whom he had gazed at steadfastly, and he thought she grew demure and sad at
sight of his blue and brass. As he had walked down the path between the rows of
oaks, he had turned his head and detected her at a window watching his
departure. As he perceived her, she had immediately begun to stare up through
the high tree branches at the sky. He had seen a good deal of flurry and haste
in her movement as she changed her attitude. He often thought of it.
On the way to Washington
his spirit had soared. The regiment was fed and caressed at station after
station until the youth had believed that he must be a hero. There was a lavish
expenditure of bread and cold meats, coffee, and pickles and cheese. As he
basked in the smiles of the girls and was patted and complimented by the old
men, he had felt growing within him the strength to do mighty deeds of arms.
After complicated
journeyings with many pauses, there had come months of monotonous life in a
camp. He had had the belief that real war was a series of death struggles with
small time in between for sleep and meals; but since his regiment had come to
the field the army had done little but sit still and try to keep warm.
He was brought then
gradually back to his old ideas. Greeklike struggles would be no more. Men were
better, or more timid. Secular and religious education had effaced the
throat-grappling instinct, or else firm finance held in check the passions.
He had grown to regard
himself merely as a part of a vast blue demonstration. His province was to look
out, as far as he could, for his personal comfort. For recreation he could
twiddle his thumbs and speculate on the thoughts which must agitate the minds of
the generals. Also, he was drilled and drilled and reviewed, and drilled and
drilled and reviewed.
The only foes he had seen
were some pickets along the river bank. They were a sun-tanned, philosophical
lot, who sometimes shot reflectively at the blue pickets. When reproached for
this afterward, they usually expressed sorrow, and swore by their gods that the
guns had exploded without their permission. The youth, on guard duty one night,
conversed across the stream with one of them. He was a slightly ragged man, who
spat skillfully between his shoes and possessed a great fund of bland and
infantile assurance. The youth liked him personally.
"Yank," the other had
informed him, "yer a right dum good feller." This sentiment, floating to him
upon the still air, had made him temporarily regret war.
Various veterans had told
him tales. Some talked of gray, bewhiskered hordes who were advancing with
relentless curses and chewing tobacco with unspeakable valor; tremendous bodies
of fierce soldiery who were sweeping along like the Huns. Others spoke of
tattered and eternally hungry men who fired despondent powders. "They'll charge
through hell's fire an' brimstone t' git a holt on a haversack, an' sech
stomachs ain't a'lastin' long," he was told. From the stories, the youth
imagined the red, live bones sticking out through slits in the faded uniforms.
Still, he could not put a
whole faith in veteran's tales, for recruits were their prey. They talked much
of smoke, fire, and blood, but he could not tell how much might be lies. They
persistently yelled "Fresh fish!" at him, and were in no wise to be trusted.
However, he perceived now
that it did not greatly matter what kind of soldiers he was going to fight, so
long as they fought, which fact no one disputed. There was a more serious
problem. He lay in his bunk pondering upon it. He tried to mathematically prove
to himself that he would not run from a battle.
Previously he had never
felt obliged to wrestle too seriously with this question. In his life he had
taken certain things for granted, never challenging his belief in ultimate
success, and bothering little about means and roads. But here he was confronted
with a thing of moment. It had suddenly appeared to him that perhaps in a battle
he might run. He was forced to admit that as far as war was concerned he knew
nothing of himself.
A sufficient time before he
would have allowed the problem to kick its heels at the outer portals of his
mind, but now he felt compelled to give serious attention to it.
A little panic-fear grew in
his mind. As his imagination went forward to a fight, he saw hideous
possibilities. He contemplated the lurking menaces of the future, and failed in
an effort to see himself standing stoutly in the midst of them. He recalled his
visions of broken-bladed glory, but in the shadow of the impending tumult he
suspected them to be impossible pictures.
He sprang from the bunk and
began to pace nervously to and fro. "Good Lord, what's th' matter with me?" he
said aloud.
He felt that in this crisis
his laws of life were useless. Whatever he had learned of himself was here of no
avail. He was an unknown quantity. He saw that he would again be obliged to
experiment as he had in early youth. He must accumulate information of himself,
and meanwhile he resolved to remain close upon his guard lest those qualities of
which he knew nothing should everlastingly disgrace him. "Good Lord!" he
repeated in dismay.
After a time the tall
soldier slid dexterously through the hole. The loud private followed. They were
wrangling.
"That's all right," said
the tall soldier as he entered. He waved his hand expressively. "You can believe
me or not, jest as you like. All you got to do is sit down and wait as quiet as
you can. Then pretty soon you'll find out I was right."
His comrade grunted
stubbornly. For a moment he seemed to be searching for a formidable reply.
Finally he said: "Well, you don't know everything in the world, do you?"
"Didn't say I knew
everything in the world," retorted the other sharply. He began to stow various
articles snugly into his knapsack.
The youth, pausing in his
nervous walk, looked down at the busy figure. "Going to be a battle, sure, is
there, Jim?" he asked.
"Of course there is,"
replied the tall soldier. "Of course there is. You jest wait 'til to-morrow, and
you'll see one of the biggest battles ever was. You jest wait."
"Thunder!" said the youth.
"Oh, you'll see fighting
this time, my boy, what'll be regular out-and-out fighting," added the tall
soldier, with the air of a man who is about to exhibit a battle for the benefit
of his friends.
"Huh!" said the loud one
from a corner.
"Well," remarked the youth,
"like as not this story'll turn out jest like them others did."
"Not much it won't,"
replied the tall soldier, exasperated. "Not much it won't. Didn't the cavalry
all start this morning?" He glared about him. No one denied his statement. "The
cavalry started this morning," he continued. "They say there ain't hardly any
cavalry left in camp. They're going to Richmond, or some place, while we fight
all the Johnnies. It's some dodge like that. The regiment's got orders, too. A
feller what seen 'em go to headquarters told me a little while ago. And they're
raising blazes all over camp--anybody can see that."
"Shucks!" said the loud
one.
The youth remained silent
for a time. At last he spoke to the tall soldier. "Jim!"
"What?"
"How do you think the
reg'ment 'll do?"
"Oh, they'll fight all
right, I guess, after they once get into it," said the other with cold judgment.
He made a fine use of the third person. "There's been heaps of fun poked at 'em
because they're new, of course, and all that; but they'll fight all right, I
guess."
"Think any of the boys 'll
run?" persisted the youth.
"Oh, there may be a few of
'em run, but there's them kind in every regiment, 'specially when they first
goes under fire," said the other in a tolerant way. "Of course it might happen
that the hull kit-and-boodle might start and run, if some big fighting came
first-off, and then again they might stay and fight like fun. But you can't bet
on nothing. Of course they ain't never been under fire yet, and it ain't likely
they'll lick the hull rebel army all-to-oncet the first time; but I think
they'll fight better than some, if worse than others. That's the way I figger.
They call the reg'ment 'Fresh fish' and everything; but the boys come of good
stock, and most of 'em 'll fight like sin after they oncet git shootin'," he
added, with a mighty emphasis on the last four words.
"Oh, you think you know--"
began the loud soldier with scorn.
The other turned savagely
upon him. They had a rapid altercation, in which they fastened upon each other
various strange epithets.
The youth at last
interrupted them. "Did you ever think you might run yourself, Jim?" he asked. On
concluding the sentence he laughed as if he had meant to aim a joke. The loud
soldier also giggled.
The tall private waved his
hand. "Well", said he profoundly, "I've thought it might get too hot for Jim
Conklin in some of them scrimmages, and if a whole lot of boys started and run,
why, I s'pose I'd start and run. And if I once started to run, I'd run like the
devil, and no mistake. But if everybody was a-standing and a-fighting, why, I'd
stand and fight. Be jiminey, I would. I'll bet on it."
"Huh!" said the loud one.
The youth of this tale felt
gratitude for these words of his comrade. He had feared that all of the untried
men possessed great and correct confidence. He now was in a measure reassured.
CHAPTER 2
The next morning the youth discovered that his tall
comrade had been the fast-flying messenger of a mistake. There was much scoffing
at the latter by those who had yesterday been firm adherents of his views, and
there was even a little sneering by men who had never believed the rumor. The
tall one fought with a man from Chatfield Corners and beat him severely.
The youth felt, however,
that his problem was in no wise lifted from him. There was, on the contrary, an
irritating prolongation. The tale had created in him a great concern for
himself. Now, with the newborn question in his mind, he was compelled to sink
back into his old place as part of a blue demonstration.
For days he made ceaseless
calculations, but they were all wondrously unsatisfactory. He found that he
could establish nothing. He finally concluded that the only way to prove himself
was to go into the blaze, and then figuratively to watch his legs to discover
their merits and faults. He reluctantly admitted that he could not sit still and
with a mental slate and pencil derive an answer. To gain it, he must have blaze,
blood, and danger, even as a chemist requires this, that, and the other. So he
fretted for an opportunity.
Meanwhile, he continually
tried to measure himself by his comrades. The tall soldier, for one, gave him
some assurance. This man's serene unconcern dealt him a measure of confidence,
for he had known him since childhood, and from his intimate knowledge he did not
see how he could be capable of anything that was beyond him, the youth. Still,
he thought that his comrade might be mistaken about himself. Or, on the other
hand, he might be a man heretofore doomed to peace and obscurity, but, in
reality, made to shine in war.
The youth would have liked
to have discovered another who suspected himself. A sympathetic comparison of
mental notes would have been a joy to him.
He occasionally tried to
fathom a comrade with seductive sentences. He looked about to find men in the
proper mood. All attempts failed to bring forth any statement which looked in
any way like a confession to those doubts which he privately acknowledged in
himself. He was afraid to make an open declaration of his concern, because he
dreaded to place some unscrupulous confidant upon the high plane of the
unconfessed from which elevation he could be derided.
In regard to his companions
his mind wavered between two opinions, according to his mood. Sometimes he
inclined to believing them all heroes. In fact, he usually admired in secret the
superior development of the higher qualities in others. He could conceive of men
going very insignificantly about the world bearing a load of courage unseen, and
although he had known many of his comrades through boyhood, he began to fear
that his judgment of them had been blind. Then, in other moments, he flouted
these theories, and assured him that his fellows were all privately wondering
and quaking.
His emotions made him feel
strange in the presence of men who talked excitedly of a prospective battle as
of a drama they were about to witness, with nothing but eagerness and curiosity
apparent in their faces. It was often that he suspected them to be liars.
He did not pass such
thoughts without severe condemnation of himself. He dinned reproaches at times.
He was convicted by himself of many shameful crimes against the gods of
traditions.
In his great anxiety his
heart was continually clamoring at what he considered the intolerable slowness
of the generals. They seemed content to perch tranquilly on the river bank, and
leave him bowed down by the weight of a great problem. He wanted it settled
forthwith. He could not long bear such a load, he said. Sometimes his anger at
the commanders reached an acute stage, and he grumbled about the camp like a
veteran.
One morning, however, he
found himself in the ranks of his prepared regiment. The men were whispering
speculations and recounting the old rumors. In the gloom before the break of the
day their uniforms glowed a deep purple hue. From across the river the red eyes
were still peering. In the eastern sky there was a yellow patch like a rug laid
for the feet of the coming sun; and against it, black and patternlike, loomed
the gigantic figure of the colonel on a gigantic horse.
From off in the darkness
came the trampling of feet. The youth could occasionally see dark shadows that
moved like monsters. The regiment stood at rest for what seemed a long time. The
youth grew impatient. It was unendurable the way these affairs were managed. He
wondered how long they were to be kept waiting.
As he looked all about him
and pondered upon the mystic gloom, he began to believe that at any moment the
ominous distance might be aflare, and the rolling crashes of an engagement come
to his ears. Staring once at the red eyes across the river, he conceived them to
be growing larger, as the orbs of a row of dragons advancing. He turned toward
the colonel and saw him lift his gigantic arm and calmly stroke his mustache.
At last he heard from along
the road at the foot of the hill the clatter of a horse's galloping hoofs. It
must be the coming of orders. He bent forward, scarce breathing. The exciting
clickety-click, as it grew louder and louder, seemed to be beating upon his
soul. Presently a horseman with jangling equipment drew rein before the colonel
of the regiment. The two held a short, sharp-worded conversation. The men in the
foremost ranks craned their necks.
As the horseman wheeled his
animal and galloped away he turned to shout over his shoulder, "Don't forget
that box of cigars!" The colonel mumbled in reply. The youth wondered what a box
of cigars had to do with war.
A moment later the regiment
went swinging off into the darkness. It was now like one of those moving
monsters wending with many feet. The air was heavy, and cold with dew. A mass of
wet grass, marched upon, rustled like silk.
There was an occasional
flash and glimmer of steel from the backs of all these huge crawling reptiles.
From the road came creakings and grumblings as some surly guns were dragged
away.
The men stumbled along
still muttering speculations. There was a subdued debate. Once a man fell down,
and as he reached for his rifle a comrade, unseeing, trod upon his hand. He of
the injured fingers swore bitterly, and aloud. A low, tittering laugh went among
his fellows.
Presently they passed into
a roadway and marched forward with easy strides. A dark regiment moved before
them, and from behind also came the tinkle of equipments on the bodies of
marching men.
The rushing yellow of the
developing day went on behind their backs. When the sunrays at last struck full
and mellowingly upon the earth, the youth saw that the landscape was streaked
with two long, thin, black columns which disappeared on the brow of a hill in
front and rearward vanished in a wood. They were like two serpents crawling from
the cavern of the night.
The river was not in view.
The tall soldier burst into praises of what he thought to be his powers of
perception.
Some of the tall one's
companions cried with emphasis that they, too, had evolved the same thing, and
they congratulated themselves upon it. But there were others who said that the
tall one's plan was not the true one at all. They persisted with other theories.
There was a vigorous discussion.
The youth took no part in
them. As he walked along in careless line he was engaged with his own eternal
debate. He could not hinder himself from dwelling upon it. He was despondent and
sullen, and threw shifting glances about him. He looked ahead, often expecting
to hear from the advance the rattle of firing.
But the long serpents
crawled slowly from hill to hill without bluster of smoke. A dun-colored cloud
of dust floated away to the right. The sky overhead was of a fairy blue.
The youth studied the faces
of his companions, ever on the watch to detect kindred emotions. He suffered
disappointment. Some ardor of the air which was causing the veteran commands to
move with glee--almost with song--had infected the new regiment. The men began
to speak of victory as of a thing they knew. Also, the tall soldier received his
vindication. They were certainly going to come around in behind the enemy. They
expressed commiseration for that part of the army which had been left upon the
river bank, felicitating themselves upon being a part of a blasting host.
The youth, considering
himself as separated from the others, was saddened by the blithe and merry
speeches that went from rank to rank. The company wags all made their best
endeavors. The regiment tramped to the tune of laughter.
The blatant soldier often
convulsed whole files by his biting sarcasms aimed at the tall one.
And it was not long before
all the men seemed to forget their mission. Whole brigades grinned in unison,
and regiments laughed.
A rather fat soldier
attempted to pilfer a horse from a dooryard. He planned to load his knapsack
upon it. He was escaping with his prize when a young girl rushed from the house
and grabbed the animal's mane. There followed a wrangle. The young girl, with
pink cheeks and shining eyes, stood like a dauntless statue.
The observant regiment,
standing at rest in the roadway, whooped at once, and entered whole-souled upon
the side of the maiden. The men became so engrossed in this affair that they
entirely ceased to remember their own large war. They jeered the piratical
private, and called attention to various defects in his personal appearance; and
they were wildly enthusiastic in support of the young girl.
To her, from some distance,
came bold advice. "Hit him with a stick."
There were crows and
catcalls showered upon him when he retreated without the horse. The regiment
rejoiced at his downfall. Loud and vociferous congratulations were showered upon
the maiden, who stood panting and regarding the troops with defiance.
At nightfall the column
broke into regimental pieces, and the fragments went into the fields to camp.
Tents sprang up like strange plants. Camp fires, like red, peculiar blossoms,
dotted the night.
The youth kept from
intercourse with his companions as much as circumstances would allow him. In the
evening he wandered a few paces into the gloom. From this little distance the
many fires, with the black forms of men passing to and fro before the crimson
rays, made weird and satanic effects.
He lay down in the grass.
The blades pressed tenderly against his cheek. The moon had been lighted and was
hung in a treetop. The liquid stillness of the night enveloping him made him
feel vast pity for himself. There was a caress in the soft winds; and the whole
mood of the darkness, he thought, was one of sympathy for himself in his
distress.
He wished, without reserve,
that he was at home again making the endless rounds from the house to the barn,
from the barn to the fields, from the fields to the barn, from the barn to the
house. He remembered he had so often cursed the brindle cow and her mates, and
had sometimes flung milking stools. But, from his present point of view, there
was a halo of happiness about each of their heads, and he would have sacrificed
all the brass buttons on the continent to have been enabled to return to them.
He told himself that he was not formed for a soldier. And he mused seriously
upon the radical differences between himself and those men who were dodging
implike around the fires.
As he mused thus he heard
the rustle of grass, and, upon turning his head, discovered the loud soldier. He
called out, "Oh, Wilson!"
The latter approached and
looked down. "Why, hello, Henry; is it you? What are you doing here?"
"Oh, thinking," said the
youth.
The other sat down and
carefully lighted his pipe. "You're getting blue my boy. You're looking
thundering peek-ed. What the dickens is wrong with you?"
"Oh, nothing," said the
youth.
The loud soldier launched
then into the subject of the anticipated fight. "Oh, we've got 'em now!" As he
spoke his boyish face was wreathed in a gleeful smile, and his voice had an
exultant ring. "We've got 'em now. At last, by the eternal thunders, we'll like
'em good!"
"If the truth was known,"
he added, more soberly, "they've licked US about every clip up to now; but this
time--this time--we'll lick 'em good!"
"I thought you was
objecting to this march a little while ago," said the youth coldly.
"Oh, it wasn't that,"
explained the other. "I don't mind marching, if there's going to be fighting at
the end of it. What I hate is this getting moved here and moved there, with no
good coming of it, as far as I can see, excepting sore feet and damned short
rations."
"Well, Jim Conklin says
we'll get plenty of fighting this time."
"He's right for once, I
guess, though I can't see how it come. This time we're in for a big battle, and
we've got the best end of it, certain sure. Gee rod! how we will thump 'em!"
He arose and began to pace
to and fro excitedly. The thrill of his enthusiasm made him walk with an elastic
step. He was sprightly, vigorous, fiery in his belief in success. He looked into
the future with clear proud eye, and he swore with the air of an old soldier.
The youth watched him for a
moment in silence. When he finally spoke his voice was as bitter as dregs. "Oh,
you're going to do great things, I s'pose!"
The loud soldier blew a
thoughtful cloud of smoke from his pipe. "Oh, I don't know," he remarked with
dignity; "I don't know. I s'pose I'll do as well as the rest. I'm going to try
like thunder." He evidently complimented himself upon the modesty of this
statement.
"How do you know you won't
run when the time comes?" asked the youth.
"Run?" said the loud one;
"run?--of course not!" He laughed.
"Well," continued the
youth, "lots of good-a-'nough men have thought they was going to do great things
before th fight, but when the time come they skedaddled."
"Oh, that's all true, I
s'pose," replied the other; "but I'm not going to skedaddle. The man that bets
on my running will lose his money, that's all." He nodded confidently.
"Oh, shucks!" said the
youth. "You ain't the bravest man in the world, are you?"
"No, I ain't," exclaimed
the loud soldier indignantly; "and I didn't say I was the bravest man in the
world, neither. I said I was going to do my share of fighting--that's what I
said. And I am, too. Who are you, anyhow? You talk as if you thought you was
Napoleon Bonaparte." He glared at the youth for a moment, and then strode away.
The youth called in a
savage voice after his comrade: "Well, you needn't git mad about it!" But the
other continued on his way and made no reply.
He felt alone in space when
his injured comrade had disappeared. His failure to discover any mite of
resemblance in their viewpoints made him more miserable than before. No one
seemed to be wrestling with such a terrific personal problem. He was a mental
outcast.
He went slowly to his tent
and stretched himself on a blanket by the side of the snoring tall soldier. In
the darkness he saw visions of a thousand-tongued fear that would babble at his
back and cause him to flee, while others were going coolly about their country's
business. He admitted that he would not be able to cope with this monster. He
felt that every nerve in his body would be an ear to hear the voices, while
other men would remain stolid and deaf.
And as he sweated with the
pain of these thoughts, he could hear low, serene sentences. "I'll bid five."
"Make it six." "Seven." "Seven goes."
He stared at the red,
shivering reflection of a fire on the white wall of his tent until, exhausted
and ill from the monotony of his suffering, he fell asleep.
Day Two Text | The Red Badge of Courage |
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